This is a message to all those tired of body shamers, victim blamers, squashers of humanity, its nature and idiosyncrasies.
We are all humans. Born with innate Imperfection, striving toward perfection. Born with sin. Sin in this case is imperfection, fallibility. Insert religious morality if you must.
There is nothing wrong with being a feminist, a humanist, a liberal, a republican, an atheist, a devout Christian, Buddhist, black, white, red, or brown. These are labels keeping us separate from our humanity and each other. Labels being tossed around like racial slurs have no real meaning other than to assert perceived power over another.
To shame others for being too comfortable or not comfortable enough in their humanity is a tool to control said humanity by inflicting fear and chaos. There is true evil and true enlightenment. Both sides of the coin contain a piece of the other. To separate light from dark is to cease understanding the light and becoming the dark. Fear is both light and dark. It tells us to be vigilant against predators. It also tells us lies that have no basis in reality. It manipulates our imperfection.
I have felt body shame and victim blame first hand. Mostly at the hands of myself. Being told over and over again that my body wasn’t this, wasn’t that, too much this, and too much that creates not only insecurity but a huge level of self-hatred. My body causes others to have emotions, desires, repulsion, made worse by me, the chief squasher of my humanity.
How do you overcome the persistence of self-hatred? The constant media onslaught of “you’re not beautiful unless you think you’re ugly?”
You ignore the hate. The hate within, the hate without. It’s not enough to ignore and suppress. You must begin to tell yourself stories of love. Not just love, but of absolute joy in your imperfection. Say something like, “Hey you, stretch marks, I think you look like ancient lay lines. That’s cool because ancient gods created you and you’re sacred. Maybe you are a site to be worshipped. A god. Thank you stretch marks, we’re gods!”
My body isn’t an invitation to harm, violate, humiliate. No matter how much or little I am wearing. I do not feel that I “should be grateful” that you desire me in any way. I will not remove or censor your emotions toward my body as long as it remains outwardly respectful and you do not act upon these harmful urges. That is what sets us apart from base animalistic impulses, our ability to recognize and control inappropriate responses to stimuli.
Fear mongering is an old and reliable method of conquering and controlling a population. It is seen in politics, religion, economics, cults, even the telling of historical events. To make us fear ourselves is a powerful tool to keep us from discovering our true power. Which is our humanity. We can not only make decisions based on free will, we can make them on intellect and intuition. Our being is more than physical, we have vast stores of knowledge we don’t even realize within our bodies and minds. Fear keeps us from accessing this power source. To make us fear our own power is the ultimate mind control.
How do you deprogram fear?
One breath at a time.
Do not push fear away and hide it. Look at it in the eye, see its deception. See that is a construct with no form. It is very fragile and can be blown away with the wind if you just wish it. Its only power is the power you give it. If you give it to the wind it cannot find a place to root.
Judging others is how we reveal our inner demons to the world. What we fear internally is what we shame in others. An enlightened mind will recognize that the judgmental thoughts are directed toward the self. The primitive mind will fault others. Words have the power you give them. As an enlightened human you will realize that the words people speak to you are ultimately about themselves. If they are hurtful pray for the pain that person must be in to make such a judgment. Do not hold those words as a determination of your worth. Your worth is determined only by you.
How do you dispel the power in a hurtful word?
By turning that word into a word of power. If words have power, reprogram the words to fuel your core source. Like electricity does not care if you plug in a toaster or a vacuum cleaner, it will always be electricity. So too is the energy of others. If they give it as harmful, accept it and use it as soul food. Words and our reaction to them can make us stronger. Magic is the resourceful use of energy, all energy. Like I said earlier, light and dark are equalizers not polarizers. And using the venom of other people’s opinions as fuel for enlightenment is true magic.
If you call me any of the following words I will most likely agree with you: artist, weirdo, freak, fat, crazy, feminist, femme fatale, slut, cunt, bitch, prude, whore, go getter, wallflower, independent, needy, empowered, crone, witch, woman, girl, broad, bird, chick, babe, ball buster, vixen, human. It’s true, I am all of these. I am a force of nature. I am everyone and no one.
Next week I turn 40. And that is magic.