This isn’t a book report
I decided to read ‘Rebel Without A Crew’ on the plane back home to Kentucky. I was intrigued by my El Mariachi experience enough to get a better sense of the creative process that went in to making the film. As a student of the creative process, I felt compelled to explore this man’s process just based on my reaction to his words. I have always been a moth to the artistic flame. I liked what I heard from Mr. Rodriguez about what went in to making his first feature film.
The concept of taking an idea and running with it, crafting it into a tangible thing you can hold in your hand, no matter the resources at your disposal, is something that inspires me to create. I subscribe to a similar philosophy when it comes to putting ideas into action. Just do, leave the worry about what you don’t have behind you, and focus on what you do have. I find a lot of parallels from his process to my own. Although, we are quite different in our artistry there is a symbiosis to our passion to create.
I enjoy his writing style. It’s very informal and feels like his natural speaking voice. A style I use in my own writing most of the time. Again, I am struck by his philosophies and styles mirroring my own.
My life path has been immensely different from that of Mr. Rodriguez. Not that every human has any obligation to admire only those walking similar paths. It’s the diverse pathwork of the human race that draws us to our guides, our teachers. Even if it only involves reading stories about those teachers. I have never given Buddha, Frank Zappa, or Douglas Adams a zombie toe, but I consider them to be guides and teachers.
I do feel drawn to his world of imagination. I may not be a budding filmmaker (Honestly, most of the time I feel too old to be a budding anything.). I am however, verging on finally taking initiative to see my artistry through. Whatever form that artistry takes: words, paint, clay, herbal tea, sharpie on cardstock. I have stumbled upon Robert Rodriguez at an auspicious time in my life. A time when I needed another guide, or more aptly, a creative mentor. His book along with the videos, which I have every intention to watch, should lay a solid foundation to help me build my creative castle.
I’m ready to break out of my head and start doing. Put all of my plans and schemes into action. I’ve always been a brainstormer with lack of follow through. I am tired of not having a finished product to show for all of the energy I put into my creative ideas.
I started a project about a month and a half ago called The Vagina Project. It involves me making a short video. I think coming across Mr. Rodriguez at this time in my grand scheme was a piece of fate. Timing people, timing is everything. It’s all about timing.
I can now actually learn a few things before just jumping in headfirst, clueless like usual. I’ve always been a fake it til you make it kind of girl. I just muddle along until things make sense to me. Even as a nurse I employ the fake til I make it attitude. As my sister always says, “Amy knows everything. And what she doesn’t know, she makes up.” It’s absolutely true. This time I want to have a better grasp of what I’ll be faking.
There are definitely a lot of words in the book that fly right over my head as I am not a schooled in the technical jargon of film. Nor have I ever really had any intentions/desire to be schooled in such. It’s never been my thing. But then again, I have the tendency to discover new things to be my thing all the time. I’m not ADD (sarcasm font implied). I’m a sponge always wanting more knowledge. My pinball mind just has to process it in small bits at a time.
Austin has taught me that I am a worthy player in this game of art. I have what it takes to be the image of the woman inside my head. The goddess I aim to be, I already am.
I can make the Vagina Project. It will be amazing. I can make a difference with it.
I am almost finished with the first draft of my book. I can get it published. I am worthy of being called a writer.
I am exactly who I’ve always wanted to be. And every day I am becoming even better. I am the Amy of my mind.
But seriously folks
Just to clarify, I am not becoming a superfan. That requires a lot more effort and commitment than I am willing to put into any public figure. Well, except maybe David Bowie. But who doesn’t have an otherworldly commitment to David Bowie? I am not just tossing empty accolades at Rodriguez for my own vanity. HE’S NOT BOWIE for fucksake. I am using his story as an inspiration since he sparked an internal revolution of creativity. And a few personal revelations in my artist’s soul.
All of that being said, thank you Robert Rodriguez for the shitstorm of ideas flying through my head. And the renewed desire to see each one to completion. No seriously, I can hardly sleep my brain is so full. Thanks a lot. Thanks a hell of a lot.
*Note* This is hopefully my last Rodriguez post for a good long while. Maybe I’ll get back to writing my accounts of quoting Frank Zappa lyrics to drug dealers on the streets of Covington.
And soon there will be a video posted about the dangers of vagina. So much to stay tuned for…